Patient Zero
by Rebel Mutant
Summary: AU Where Humans have lived with Uplifted Animals called Humanimals for thousands of years, Ichabod son of Scarecrow and Poison Ivy and Edward Green Bastard Son of Edward Nygma must do everything they can to save a Pig-Woman and stop and pandemic before it begins, this was a Prompt from Stealthy Stories Forum One Shot


_**This is a Prompt given tome by the Stealthy Stories forum Generate an Illness via a Random Generator and write a one-shot based on it...One shot? That is probobly the most difficult part because I have this tendency to turn everything into an epic, but hey if you say one shot...I'll see what I can do. Plus I had this idea in my idea inmy head where my two OCs wake up with Navel Piercings (My mind travels to strange places) And this felt like the way to get this scenario.**_

This was a first...Wranglers pleading with the Federation for help. What were begging and pleading for help with? Well seems a Humanimal Slave had contracted a mysterious illness somehow...At first the Wranglers were planning to send the Poor Slave to the sausage factory until, some of the Humans contracted the Malady and no Human Antibiotic could treat it!

"We need the Earth Medic who is immune to all Toxins and Pathogens!" Said Lord Helmet

"You mean Ichabod?" Matoaka asked one eyebrow raised

"Yes!"Said Lord Helmet "This is a matter of life and death!"

"If I agree to this." Ichabod said "Do we have your agreement you will not attempt to brain-scrub me to your side?"

"Yes! Yes! We'll do anything you say!" Said Lord Helmet

Ichabod turned to his captain "He sounds like he means it."

"Yes..." Matoaka rubbed her equine chin "But how do we know that they won't turn on you as soon as the danger has passed?" Matoaka turned to the screen

"Ichabod shall be accompanied by our other Human Team Member, your Former Prince of Violla Strierra Edward Green."

"Fine..."Said Lord Helmet "...Can we leave at that? No Federation Humanimals?"

"We'll leave it at that." Matoaka nodded her head "Over and out." And she turned off the screen.

Ichabod and Edward bid a fond farewell to Marzipan and Minsk. Marzipan purred and stroked her feline cheeks against his, and Edward grabbed his Mink-Woman by the waist and kissed her fiercely.

The two Human Men were to be sent to the Wrangler Space Station in cold sleep.

"I'm not sure about this." Ichabod said nervously "I've heard terrible things about cold sleep."

"Ichabod..." Said Edward "We will only be in cold sleep for two hours."

The Pods with the sleeping Ichabod Crane and Edward Green took them to a not a Wrangler Space Station,but an Alien Spaceship of familiar but strange shape.

When Ichabod and Edward woke up...They both instantly knew they were restrained to a cold steel table, instantly they felt a chill of fear.

"Oh Gods, what happened?" Ichabod said "What's happening?"

Ichabod opened his eyes and saw both himsel and Edward reflected in a mirror directly above them.

They were both naked, and Ichabod could see on his belly was what looked like a green pearl, he could see the same thing on Edward's belly.

"What...The...^#%$ ?!" Ichabod yelled

Just then a Pig-Woman Nurse scrambled in, she was a White Pig whose brown head-fur was worn in a bob-cut "Oh my gosh! You're awake!"

"Yes wen are..." Edward said "...And we can see something happened to us while we still asleep...Why did we both get navel piercings without our consent."

"Oh Please Brave Sirs!" The Pig-Woman pleaded "I did it to both of you...I had to it! You see...You're not on a Wrangler Space Station, you're on a Spaceship belonging to the Bettas."

"What are Bettas?" Ichabod asked

"Small Extra-Terrestrials, they look like small grey Humans with no nose and large black eyes."

Both Ichabod and Edward looked at each other, they both thought those Aliens were figments of Humanity's pop culture neither of them thought those kinds of Aliens actually existed!

"The Wranglers have been allies of the Bettas for a very long time..." The Pig-Woman began to say

"Whoa!" Said Edward "I was a Wrangler Prince for most of my life and I NEVER knew about these Bettas!"

"Well I guess Planet Cancer is allies with them..." The Pig-Nurse said "But...These Aliens are very strange...They like to stick sharp things into Human Belly Buttons, the Wranglers can't seem to stop them from doing it...They haven't touched me...Or my Sister,because they think us Humanimals disgusting...But these Aliens have this strange almost erotic fascination with human navels, but I realized, that if I covered the entire naval with a jewel, the Aliens would think you didn't have one of those precious belly scars and leave you alone...That's why I did it...I assure you I did it with only the cleanest tools and..."

"Pig-Madame..." Edward said softly "...Since you explained it...We're no longer angry about it...And...Thanks for thinking to protect us...Ms..."

"Carrie..." The Pig-Woman said "...Carrie Porcine."

"Could you unrestrain us Carrie?" Ichabod asked

"Yes...Of course!" Said Carrie quickly undoing the straps "You have come just in time Ichabod Crane!"

"Of course." Ichabod said as he rubbed his wrists as soon as they were free...His heart was still jittery but he calmed himself with the thought that of all the things that could be done without your consent...A belly button piercing was not the worst of them. "Where is Patient Zero."

"I'll take you to her." Carrie said "She is my Sister...We're the only Humanimals on this ship."

Ichabod's eyes widened "Oh my..." He said "...You mean your flesh and blood sister not merely a Herd Sister?" Ichabod knew Humanimal Cubs who grew up in the same herd believed to be Brothers and Sisters of spirit and and a strong taboo against mating with each other.

"Yes..."Carrie said "On Planet Cancer we are unable to form herds on this harsh,barren world that was only colonized to mine minerals from."

Ichabod quickly jumped of the table "Well let's not dilly-dally! Fetch me a surgical gown,cap and gloves! I have work to!"

When he reached the place where Patient Zero...Dianne Porcine was...He saw a Pig-Woman on a cold steel table, her head-fur had been shaved off and upon closer inspection, Ichabod could see red spots all over her pink,plump body...Like measles.

Ichabod also noted her throat was swollen, alleviated only by a steady stream of antibiotics pumped into the mask she was wearing.

"Poor Creature..." Ichabod said sympathetically he started to run various tests on what was causing this malady.

It was caused by a virus...But not one Ichabod had ever seen before "This is an Alien Virus for sure." Ichabod said The one time Ichabod ever became ill himself was when he caught an alien fungus that affected plants...The hyperactive immune system he had inherited from his Mother was completely blindsided by this Extra-Terrestrial Fungus! Hus symptoms included purple blotches all over his body...His cheeks getting swollen like he had the mumps, high fever...No appetite. Matoaka discovered the only cure was much hot water and scrubbing and hot herb broth twice a day.

He turned in the sample of the virus to the Wrangler Scientists "Study this..." He said "Create the vaccine."

"Is that all you can do?" Asked the Scientist who had been infected

"I'm a surgeon." Ichabod said as he removed his gloves "Not a pathologist...I can only provide medicine for maladys that already have a cure..."

That was when he saw the scientists infected navels in addition to the other symptoms of the virus.

"I hear the Bettas have a fetish for Human Navels." Ichabod said

"Yeah they like to poke our navels with needles." Said the Scientist"We can't do a thing about it."

"Why do you tolerate it?" Ichabod asked "Are they truly your allies?"

"They trade advanced technology to us for small things." Said the Other Scientist "Strange thing...After the Bettas poked us we came into contact with the Pig...Then we started breaking out in spots...Before that...No one did..."

"Wait what?!" Ichabod exclaimed that was when he realized the horrible truth, he ran back to Edward and Carrie

"The Bettas are creating a Plague for Humans!" Ichabod exclaimed "They had Dianne as the test subject to design the virus...But it is still only mildly contagious, to speed up the spread...The Bettas poke Humans in the navel to would them...Provide an opening for the Virus to invade

Dianne gasped

"What can we do?"Asked Edward

"The only sensible thing to do..." Ichabod said ...Stretcher Speeding!"

And so they wheeled the Stretcher with Dianne on it through the Spaceship, all Humans fearing the Virus fled...Ichabod then approached Lord Helmet

"The Four of us are returning to Earth." Ichabod said "And I demand only the finest in Space Travel luxury or so help me I'll spread the virus all over Planet Cancer!"

As they returned to Planet Earth,Ichabod did the only thing he knew for sure would work, he injected a few of his own hyperactive white blood cells into Dianne.

"This may affect her fertility." Ichabod said "If she's never had any Piglets..."

"Sometimes sacrifices are necessary for the survival of all." Carrie said sadly

"I said MAY..." Ichabod said "I can't guarantee it will or will not."

"I don't understand it." Edward said "Why do the Bettas want to kill the Wranglers working with them."

"Your guess is as good as mine." Ichabod said as they reached Earth's solar system.

 _ **THE END**_


End file.
